Yea This game kicks alot of ass.

Ok now to get to the review portion of this. Let me explain this concept, first off this is a hockey game where you play as skeletons, trolls, and robots. EA looks like they took a decent amount of time on the graphics as they seem to have been done in a very cartooney style compared to their actual NHL hockey games of the time. These cartooney graphics work well because in this game you play as these badasses in what could be an alternate dimension or Hell, all depending on how you look at it (Satan himself is actually on the side of the rink watching between the benches as you play). Another rediclious thing about this game is the fact that they are full of fucking puns for the team names such as the Black Hearts instead of the Blackhawks and there are many more. Hell the players are even more rediclious. The games best player is named Bones Jackson which is a reference to Bo Jackson who mind you never played hockey but remember this is a sequal to a football game.

Yea Bones Jackson the best hockey playing skeleton in the Galaxy.

Look what makes this game unique in a big way is how all the arenas have pitfalls. Some could be fire pits, some could just trap you under the ice some even have spikes on the walls. It all depends, one even has a “Demon Goal” which basically means even if your goalie is a pile of ass the other team may not score cause the goal could close its mouth and prevent a goal. Now the controls could be better at times but name another hockey game where you can:

1. Kill your opponents with a chainsaw, mace, or your bare fist if your man enough to fuck someone up.

2. You can have games forfeited due to the massive amount of death you reign down on your opponent.

3. A game where you can shoot an exploding puck to kill the other teams goalie or best player just to get ahead in the game.

4. Where you can score two goals at once by shooting from a certain distance.

Obviously you can play with line changes and penalties just like real hockey, but if you just go ahead and play with the violence turned up line changes wont be needed cause your players will die anyway. Another thing is how you can turn on the violence to rediclious levels on a scale of 1  to 5. I shall describe them if you are afraid of your players to die or your a pussy stick to one so you don’t get your ego bruised as your right wing gets killed with a chainsaw to the face. If your a man whos diet consists of Motor Oil and scrap metal then go on 5. Yea your players will die, and Hell if you do a tournament mode they are lost fot the whole thing. I will be damned if you ever get to finish a game on level five without a forfit due to death. The music and sounds to this game are awesome. I mean if you win a fight it plays the funeral march followed by some trippy music all while it pulls up a “fight card” showing the stats of the fight. They even have a sweet song for when you win the game which is basically the whole “stomp stomp clap” you hear at hockey games and other sporting events except this one is better. Alot of the music and sounds can be generic yes, but the sound effects of certain players when they score or commit a penalty make this game awesome. All the players have profiles but only a few look different than stock characters. If im not mistaken it probably comes out to 2 skeletons, 2 trolls, and 1 robot named GIL 9000 who might be the most badass character in the game.

This is the biggest and most badass robot in the galaxy The GIL-9000.

Word to the wise if you want to play this game and dominate pick the Galaxy Aces against the Mighty Wieners, I swear if you lose that game you might as well find the nearest pistol and write a note to your family load the gun and pull the trigger because you might be the worst video game player in the history of any video game (I would also accept razor blade to wrist or even rope to neck its your choice really). Yes this picture below is an actual player from the Mighty Wieners and yea hes a reserve but fuck is he bad.

This pussy would be destroyed with one punch from GIL-9000.

In all honesty if I were to choose a regular team to play as I would pick the Midway Monsters because they have good offence and good defence and actually have two star players on their team in Bones Jackson and Grim McSlam. If you get the oppertunity to either buy this or play it I suggest you do even if your not a fan of  hockey you should like violence unless your name is Jack Thompson so man up this game is one for the ages mutant or not.

Mutant League Hockey

Ok, that title is a little misleading… but I knew it would catch your eyes. Ya sick fucks, ya! You think we didn’t notice the hits we get from people who type “japanese rape game” into a search engine? You sick fucks. But, hey,  you come to our site so… NO, I’m not covering a “JAPANESE RAPE GAME”, why would think I’d be doing a post on a “JAPANESE RAPE GAME”? That’s crazy!
However, I almost did a review on “Golden Axe” while thinking about “Legendary Axe.” Thus, I said fuck it and decided to review both.

Legendary Axe

What’s that? You say you want a clone of “Castlevania” and the like? But you want a fun one with good music? That’s a tall order, but I think I can help you out. There’s a catch… you have to have a TurbroGrafx 16. There’s a tall order to match your tall order!
“Legendary Axe” is the name of the game! Like I said, it’s very similar to the “Castlevania” format. So you can probably tell, assuming you like “Castlevania”, you’re going to have some fun.

One of the pluses of this hidden gem is the attack system. Chiggity check it!
Throughout the game, you’ll find … I don’t know…. medallions? These aren’t medallions you’ll find in granny’s trunk of ancient artifacts. Every time you nab one, a meter fills up at the top of the screen. The more it fills, the more powerfully you swing the axe and crack an orc in the teeth.

(as you can see, whoever is playing here is in good standing)

The music is pretty sick. Which is a pretty good thing considering you’ll be listening to the assorted tracks a LOT. Because of a slight detail I forgot to mention… this game is a tricky. I’m talkin’ tricky tricky, and not like the Lou Bega’s final single in America. I’m talking the kind where you have to play, and play, and play until you figure out the numerous mischevious curtails.

(be sure to watch out for killer moths!)

Prang and I played this game a good bit before anger got the best of us.  This game doesn’t play fair, but the challenge to beat it under those circumstances is like a drug. At one poin’t you have to battle a bunch of giant, floating eyeballs. As if the battle weren’t insane enough, there’s a good chance you’ll fall into “Father Time’s Corner.” This is a place you don’t want to be, but sometimes that’s the only way to survive. These eyeballs will float around the side of the screen you’re on and CONTINUOUSLY ATTACK YOU. When one goes away, another comes at you, and so on and so forth. And you have to crouch in the fucking corner until these incessant iris carriers relent. Which could take minutes! That doesn’t sound like a lot until you’re there… then you know why I refer to it as “Father Time’s Corner”… ‘cause you could very well be there forever if the game deems you that much of a threat. I doubt it is actually programmed to do that, but “Legendary Axe” is shady so I wouldn’t be surprised if some sort of black magic is involved.

However, despite the odds being against you there is hope. It just involves a lot of grinding and figuring out exactly where enemies are coming at you from

Golden Axe

A classic arcade sidescroller for the arcade &  Sega System 16, “Golden Axe” takes you on a sideways journey. Now to give fair warning, some of these are screen shots from other “Golden Axe” games. But they’re all, for the most part, the same game. So they’re just examples… plus they were all I could find. Three Medieval-style characters to choose from:

Gilius Thunderhead

And dwarf rockin’ a double-headed axe. My personal favorite.

Ax Battler

Oddly enough, he lacks an axe. Rather, he wields a broadsword.

Tyris Flare

An amazonian chick with a long-sword.

Oh yeah, check out that pixely goodness, ya sick fucks! HA!

For reasons not interesting enough to go into, these heroes three are heading to the castle of Death Adder (great name, I know) to save the King of Yuria and his daughter. Throughout the game you’ll learn to utilize techniques such as the running shoulder ram, the falling slash attack, and spells fueled by blue potions. You’re attacked by Death Adder’s henchmen, some of which ride fun creatures you can hop on and increase your chances of attack… depending on the situation you find yourself in. Make sure you knock enemies far away from a beast when attempting to mount, or they’ll knock you right off and hop back on. If you take this precaution you’ll be rewarded with a mythical creature that can either belch/vomit fire or trip enemies with it’s tail! What fun!

Be weary, for when you go to sleep…
GNOMES WILL STEAL YOUR POTIONS!
OHNOOOOOOO!

The good news is you can get the back by knocking the snot out of dwarves. Gnomes clothed in blue hold potions, green carry food to restore your life.

The key to getting through this game is to know the measure of the somewhat limited moving capabilities. Also making proper use of potions will get you further on the path to Death Adder. Once you get there, you’re on your own. I haven’t made it that far yet. And probably won’t for some time because other games take priority.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this double axe-tion action!

And for your patience, you’ll be rewarded with more girls kissing each other.

YAAAAAAAAY )

Don’t say I never did anything for you!

HAPPY VD!

This album is, again, an experiment in my rapping and beat making capabilities. I’ve learned a lot from making this album (which a lot of you might be able to tell from how the first half sounds in comparison to the second) and “Location” will be better in ways I can’t even explain. I’m taking a lot of time on it because now that I’ve begun there’s no reason for rookie mistakes.

Until that point, please enjoy “Wizard Island: Transmission.”

Which can be found on THIS site.

FOR FREE!

No reason not to check it out.

I’ll even put the link right here in case you’re feeling lazy!

http://seventytwopinconnector.com/wizard-island-transmission/

-Scott [aka SkizZ teh WizZ]

www.youtube.com/skizztehwizz

If you’re a fan of the Fall of Troy, you’ve probably heard their Ghostship demos, and those demos might be a big reason that you enjoy them so much. Well, that’s right, they FINALLY finished the album. They’ve been working on these songs for five years, polishing and nurturing them. You might think they look like just another band, but this three piece is different. They’ve put together a concept album that would make Rush proud.

Instead of reviewing songs like I want to, I’m going to cover different points of the album.

Vocals- I’ve been reading that some people don’t like the new vocals for these tracks. I don’t know about you, but I like it when people only scream when necessary. Oh? You’re a indiefuck scene asshole that only likes “post-punk” and “scene metal” so you like Underoath and their “screams”? Are they xxxhxcxxx? Do you like it in your butt?
The Fall of Troy is known for screaming a good bit in their songs, but the way they handle it on POTH is different. Thom and Frank sing and throw the occasional screech of death. Franks vocals work well with Thoms. (Frank used to be a lead singer/guitarist for Of Stalwart Fads I think, so he’s had his experience). Thom does better than he has done on any album, but the best vocals on the album are not his. Check out 2:25 on Chapter II. Yea- that’s the singer from Schoolyard Heroes, longtime friends of TFOT. She brings the intensity up to 11 with her operatic voice.

Lyrics/Story- All you need to know is that the lyrics are solid, and the story is crazy. It is about a group sailing when a Ghostship attacks, and at some point a demon enters Thoms head. Shit goes haywire. What is odd is that the lyrics even hold up when they go into a spoken word poetry section read by Thom’s girlfriend. “In the darkness of your mind, I’ll stand by your side and remove all your fear. I’ll eat you alive my dear.” Most spoken parts in songs sound cheesy (check out The Necromancer by Rush, you’ll lol despite it being a good song).

Guitar- Fuck me sideways. I’m really not even going to talk about this. Seriously. Insane. Insane. Insane. This CD has some quiet guitar parts that would make Dragonforce shake in their boots. Listen to this with headphones to get the full effect.

Bass- Frank has improved the quality of bass playing on this album. As simple and generic as that sentence is, it is fully true. And since he’s black, he obviously is good. (YAY RACISM!) But to be honest, Frank actually worked with and changed up some stuff occasionally, BUT they turned him down way too low in the mix. A little bit more volume would help, but still solid.

Drums- Second biggest improvement from vocals. In the four year time from the demos, Andrew has improved his playing immensely. Just check out the drum solo at the end of Part III. His work with Frank is better than it was with Ward’s, sometimes playing a more jazz style than punk with their bass and bass drum working together, which is how it should be in music.

Interludes- Trippy, intense, and fitting. At some point it kinda sounds a little bit like a solo Omar album…

Pros- All of the above
Cons- Franks bass turned down too low, and might be too crazy for you if you’re a wuss or you like shitty music.

No need to actually make this review any longer. Get this fucking album now. They only made 3000 copes to sell though. And if you missed out on the preorder (which sold out), and you cant make it to the west coast for their tour with Number Twelve Looks Like You (jazz fusion metal), then you gotta download this baby. But TFOT supports that, so who cares?

On a side note, go see these guys live. Did you think Rock and Roll was dead? (If you say that it isn’t dead, and that GH and RB revive it, just remember that Miley Cyrus likes Guitar Hero. Those games are ruining rock as we know it with the Jonas Brothers.) Fuck no! Thomas Erak is THE definition of rockstar. You might hear him playing something and think, “how the hell does he do that?” But then you realize he is singing at the same time. Then you see him live, watch him get a concussion on the first song, and then he plays an hour set anyway inside a 125 degree building, all the while jumping into the crowd and flailing around every single song… and he still manages to get many many hot chicks despite smelling and sweating more than anyone in the area. Not to mention, the band is very real, and will even do drugs with you if you bring them…

Yep! Here it is… now, before you give this podcast a listen, there is something you gotta know first. We knew, going into this week, that our recordings were going to be immature, childish, dirty-humored, terrible examples of culture, but they were going to be funny. This podcast, and the next minicast we release are all about being funny, hilarious, highly-offensive laugh-fests. If you don’t want to be offended or laugh histerically, skip these. Come back for next week’s shows. I enjoyed these podcasts, and I hope you do as well.

Seventy Two Pin Connector Podcast: Episode 023 – SEX