I would provide context but I feel that telling you Satan made this is good enough.

I then graduated to getting TF2 and for the first time in my life have fallen in love with a multiplayer FPS that has me actually doing well against others while still having no real idea what the hell I am trying to do about 70 percent of the time. The reason I bring all of this up is because I just bought the Humble Indie Bundle 4, for an undisclosed amount that I chose to pay that was above the average. For all of the people that used to be like me and have no idea what I am even talking about I shall explain. If you go to www.humblebundle.com you will see an offer to pay whatever you want for 5 games that are all on steam for much more than what you can pay if you decide to go this route. You offer what you want for the games, and the money goes to the site hosting, the developers, and charity and the best part is you can adjust where you want the money to go. If you feel that the devs deserve it more than breast cancer awareness than you can do that. If you are like me you just split it the best that you can right down the middle. Right away I had to get it for Bit.Trip Runner, and Super Meat Boy alone, and I can tell you that every single cent I threw towards this noble cause was worth it about 30 seconds into me playing Super Meat Boy for the first time.

Seriously after playing this for a while I know the price I paid was highway robbery.

I even got introduced to what is already my third favorite birds eye view Shoot-em-up of all time in a games named Jonestown. I mention all of this because my next few reviews I will focus on this bundle I have picked up and I will pour my heart out into the reviews. I keep making promises about me and how I will post very soon, and I keep fumbling over and over again like Peyton Hillis in the second half of the 2010 season for the Browns. You the reader deserve more for me as a writer and with the ideas being thrown around on how we can give you guys more just like you deserve, a change will hopefully soon happen. I will have a post up about one of these games probably around the holiday (I hope to make it a post on Christmas just for the sake of making puns and calling it a gift.) I promise it will be worth your while if you stick around.

Martyr Out.

I understand that somehow we fell off the deep end when it comes to writing new things but I am going to tell you right now that this is changing. I personally am going to write at least 1 new article a week to get back to the glory days of what we once were. We may not have some of the older members that we did during our days of the pod-casts but I would not be shocked if they popped up once in a blue moon. I know it has been a long slow lull when it comes to our posting, but I promise the people that stick around will be rewarded with new content. This website is not dead and I will make sure that it damn well keeps a pulse.

With much gaming love,

Martyr

PS: I figured this picture could not hurt I do not care what anyone says….Cammy is totally real.

Odd Glitch: I noticed an interesting/aggravating glitch which I don’t recall happening in my first runthrough. When using the “Scout” Plasmid to scope out an area to strategize an attack, I found myself unable to use Plasmids afterwards. I let mself die to so I could reset when I came back, but the same result came up after doing certain things (such as zooming with guns). I had to start the level over just to avoid using “Scout” so this wouldn’t happen again. At first, I figured it might be part of going the “Evil” route. But this game is really good at notifying you of such handicaps. I don’t know if that was just a colossal mistake or if it just comes with the territory of being bad.

Enemies: There seems to be quite a bit taken into account when it comes to the overall look at AI actions of Rapture’s spliced up population.

This time around, the “Spider Splicers” look the same and are all male. However, this look is definitely one that will make you flinch upon your first encounter. Psychotic and ugly to boot, these bastards will utilize the old “climb on ceilings and chuck hooks at you” tactic.

The “Big Daddies” pose the same threat they did before, but with the drill and and a hand full of electricity will take care of them. After softening them up with some frag grenades or heat-seeking rockets, of course.

The “Brute Splicers” are a bit of a pain if you find yourself low on the necessary ammo. They collapse (although don’t immediately die) if you hit ‘em with the Solid Buck for the Shotgun. Zap & repeat and you’ll find they aren’t much trouble. Just zap them before they throw debris at you.

The “Big Sisters” are troublesome, so gear up when you hear their ear-piercing screech. These bitches are quick, but manageable. Keep a step ahead of them, make sure when they gather debris to throw or grab a Splicer regenerate that you zap them immediately. Armor-piercing rounds are very efficient in taking them out.

The “Evil”: The ending for the evil plot is similar to that of the “Good,” only with a much darker tone (obviously). It makes it kind of difficult to tell what role Eleanor will play in the next Bioshock (if she even has one). I’ll avoid telling you what happens at the end, you’ll have to earn it. Just know the “Good” plot is feel good, and the “Evil” is cryptic. Pretty obvious.

Multiplayer: Multiplayer on this game is actually not too bad. It starts out with a room you can walk through and customize “Load Outs” (What guns, Plasmids and Tonics you can use) and change your character’s appearance. You can only use two Plasmids and two guns. But, guess what, THAT’S TWO PLASMIDS. Thus, sweetening the deal and obliterating any negative aspects of that statement. Can CoDMod2 do that? Neg. Granted, it’s not nearly on the level CoDMod 1 or 2 resides on, but it’s actually pretty fun when you get the hang of it. It sucks a bit having to go back to just two plasmids, but it’s either that or choppy gameplay (which is never fun online). The more you play, the more ADAM you acquire, giving you new Plasmids, new weaponry and, eventually, Tonics.

There’s a challenge in which you have to a follow a Mii that runs ahead of you… then a dog. You would think you wouldn’t have to ACTUALLY run, but it helps to run considering the momentum required. Besides, you’re defeating the purpose of the game if you’re trying to take a shortcut.

Next up, the Hula Hoop challenge. I like this one because I get to watch her swivel her pelvis… Thus, giving me more reason to watch her ass. Having seen the Wii Fit Girl on Tosh.0 recently, a grin is brought to my face having a Wii Fit Girl of my own who is much hotter. So far, I’m a fan of this game when I’m not the one playing.

Her next choice: YOGA! I don’t think I need to go into detail as to why I think I’ll enjoy spectating on this. The first couple of moves are pretty basic Yoga tactics. I have no way of knowing because I’m horribly out of shape and probably wouldn’t resort to Yoga if I was.

Now I’m being informed she’s changing into pants because she “doesn’t want to flash us” her ass. I attempted to vocalize my disagreement with this idea, to which she replied “I don’t care.” That was fun while it lasted.

She comes back up with pants and a baggy t-shirt. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PROPERLY OGGLE THAT? I’ll make it work, the pants are tight enough and my imagination is strong.

Now she knows that I’m writing this, which may have a promise of comedy. Maybe I should focus more on the game… Nah, I’m good being a perv. Especially now that she has her ass up in the air with those tight pants.

K: “Are you checking out my ass?”
RS: “Ye-… no. But keep doing that.”

Back to the Mii Race. The environmental graphics are nothing special, but I don’t think that’s what they were concentrating on.

Now she’s giving some Advanced Step a chance… It’s not going well. Still entertaining to watch, however. I doubt I would do any better on this thing. You have to step on the board with the foot it dictates, and step off with the foot it dictates. All of this is to music, obviously, which gets faster as you progress. You eventually have to incorporate claps, which she has given up on completely.

K: “I just want to play DDR!”

As she almost falls off, she seems to be getting the hang of it right before the challenge ends. It’s safe to say I would be horrible at this game. The fact that she plays it often is a testament to her tenacity.

Now… we Kung Fu! This requires the Nunchuk. As she stands on the board, the Mii characters behind her demonstrate the move(s) you have to pull off in rhythm to the music. This one actually looks kind of fun, meaning I might be able to do it without breaking myself. If you fuck up, some sort of pot is dropped on your Mii’s head.

After completing challenges, a counter pops up to show you a rough estimation of how many calories you are burning. This is an interesting system because of the obvious reasons of importance.

If you want a little bit of extra fun while watching somebody play, make them laugh during a challenge. Just keep that mental note in your thought box.

“High score! I beat myself! THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!” Do I really need to go into why this girl is great?

Back to Yoga! This time, the Dance position. The instructor bitch doesn’t move her mouth when she talks. I suppose that might have broken the bank for Nintendo. She’s the whitest chick ever… seriously, she has paper white skin. That, and I think she has a bit of camel toe going on… Not that I was looking…
While holding a position, you’re required to keep the red dot within the yellow circle. Easier said than done. Not only is it difficult from a physical standpoint, but you’ve also got the instructor criticizing you. She tries to make it sound constructive, but I know she’s being a bitch. It’s not hard to tell, even if she is a robot.

The board is better at calculating movement than I expected, almost to an absurd degree. After challenges, you’re reviewed on your movement within the circle overall. Which, if done poorly, will look like a Pollack painting.

There are a lot of things to be said concerning Wii Fit. I would recommend watching a highly attractive female play if one is available. Hell, give it a try if you’re looking to get off of your ass.Chances are if you’re reading this, you’re not a huge fan of that. But, hey, who am I to judge? I’m not too sure I’d use it if somebody gave it to me.