Nor her sister.
Or her dog…maybe.

Well, the last few days I’ve been listening to TFOT’s In the Unlikely Event. It is an album that might not have the atmosphere of Phantom on the Horizon, and it may not have the random changes of Manipulator, but it packs a punch in its own way. Almost half of the tracks on ITUE are Thomas Erak’s versions of pop songs. The Fall of Troy has included sing-along choruses and hooks, EGADS!? While many will probably see this as a weakness, I see it as more of an oportunity. This band has slowly learned to incorporate an element of popiness that their earlier albums were missing. You can’t always expect pure technical prowless to determine songwriting. Weezer is, or at least was, a good band.

Not at all to compare the two bands, as this album, despite it having some pop to it, still melts faces, frightens, and excites. Take “A Classic Case Of Transference” from 2:30 to the end. The music is constantly changing, furious, beautiful, and creative. The biggest improvement on songwriting is Frank on bass. He adds an interesting background to Thomas’s cirus-style playing. His jazz lines over solos bring an element that was missing with Ward.

Another plus side is knowing that TFOT knows they are writing poppier music. Track 5, titled “Single” is a radio-friendly single that still fits their style.

There are a few downsides to the album though. Erak’s voice sounds different than on earlier releases, with him obviously taking some voice lessons, but a few parts that are supposed to be showcasing his voice don’t really do him justice. At times, I could hear harmonies in my head that could have been included, but that’s production decision.

All in all, I say this is a solid album that might piss off some xxxhxcxxx fans, but most fans, music lovers, and hopefully some noobs will enjoy.

Yea, I know, I’m two days late. Fuck off.

You may not have heard of Kraftwerk, as they come from a different time. A time when you didnt have to look good to be a famous musician. A time when you could release an 8 minute song as a single. The 70′s. I know kids, its hard to imagine life thirty years ago without cell phones, and without all this crazy electronic music that you all are listening to these days.

But that crazy electronica started with Kraftwerk, and little does everyone know that they are the original Queen- the band that rap rips off without asking. Take Common’s new commercial for example, where he talks about his new song being influenced by Afrika Bambamtas “Planet Rock.” What Common’s uneducated ass doesn’t know is that Afrika Bambamta illegally stole “Planet Rock” from Kraftwerk’s “Trans-Europe Express.” Now, I’m all for sampling, despite it taking much less talent than writing, but I want the writers to get credit, or at least recognition, and with an article on 72pc.com, Kraftwerk now has that recognition.

Ok, maybe not.

Anymore, those faces would all be photoshopped to make the band more appealing, and they’d all be wearing eyeliner and girls jeans. Fuck our current culture.

Trans-Europe Express begins with synth. You’ll be getting used to synth throughout this album, as it is pretty much the only instrument they use. The melodies are repetitive, but you’ll find yourself humming them throughout the day. Kraftwerk does an amazing job at layering parts slowly, but effectively. Lyrics are mostly non-existent on tracks, but The Hall of Mirrors and Showroom Dummies SHOW us a ROOM full of crazy lyrics that are not DUMMIES? Damn it. Sometimes even I hate horrible puns.

While these men are close to geniouses for inventing electronica and becoming what would be the roots of techno, don’t expect compositional genious. Their songs lack a regular structure and it quickly becomes obvious that they didn’t write any of this to make money. Kraftwerk also uses a heavy vocoder that can make lil’ wayne sometimes look under-computerized.

Honestly, I’d love to see him try to use this machine, let alone rewire and configure it to create effects not possible with it’s standard controls.

All in all, Trans-Europe Express is a pretty solid album. What it lacks in complexity it makes up for in catchiness and inventiveness. Without Kraftwerk’s early werk, rock music might be different than it is today.

Also, check them out on tour with Radiohead if you’re lucky enough to be in Europe. Who knows, you might be one of the only ones that will know who they are, so you can impress all your hip indie friends that went to see Radiohead.

I’m talking about the one and only, Dr. Phineas Waldolf Steel. A toy-making, robot constructing, mad scientist whose melodic transmissions caught my eye whilst crusin’ the intrenets… and the mespaces…

Dr. Steel has three albums [“Dr. Steel”, “Dr. Steel II: Eclectic Boogaloo” and “People of Earth”] as well as the “Dr. Steel Collection,” which includes remixes and a cover of “Inspector Gadget”! Surgically splicing Hip Hop, Progressive and Industrial in a most intriguing fashion. I’m not a big fan of tossing out genre titles, thus I dub it:

“Factotronocular Transmissions”

Chronological order is the way to go, logically. The first track of “Dr. Steel”… which is “Dr. Steel,” opens the saga of the Dr. Steel ride. You’ll be pulled into a land of mechanical soul: Toyland. It’s a solid representation of what you’re in for, a madman on the loose in your speakers. If you’re not into crazy music, you might want to turn back now. For those who appreciate the acquired taste of well put together tunes that make you teeter on that border are in for a fuckin’ TREAT.

Now you’re in Steel’s world, where you can enjoy the audible smog from robot workers which, coincidentally, also make up the members of the band… when they’re working properly. While repairs are being done he’s got a human band, so you’re still gonna get the Steel Experience with the aid of loyal nurses and PUPPETS! That’s right, no need to go back and read it ‘cause I’m about to repeat it! At Dr. Steel shows, you get the Mad Scientest himself, you get a sick band, HOT NURSES, and A PUPPET SHOW PERFORMING THE STORIES OF THE SONGS.

I’m trying to think of something about the idea that isn’t badass… I have nothing to report…

I could stress the importance of why chrono-lodge is the best way to listen to the albums, but that would be like explaining why movies, comics, anime, shows with an in-depth and thoughtful circumstancial order need to be seen from the beginning. A lot happens and you could miss plenty, which means you might not get quite the same impact as someone who know’s what’s going on. It’s like a Sci-Fi movie happening in your brain.

Going play-by-play on this one might spoil the potential fun for you. This is music that is better listened to actively, not passively. If you’ve got the mental capacity to take in a story, you’re set.

I was able to get the Doctor to answer a few questions, by which I mean 11…

[SkizZ]
How’s the weather in Toyland?

(Dr. Steel)
I’m uncertain. With my laboratory being underground I tend not to experience a great deal of weather directly. Though, the last time I checked security cam #5, I spied a few chemtrails smeared across the sky. I’ll be staying inside today.

[SkizZ]
Your toys look a little on the unsafe side… So just how much fun is promised with a World Domination Toy?

(Dr. Steel)
Oh, no. All World Domination Toys products are completely safe unless misused. Each product is designed specifically for maximum fun! I look forward to seeing many of these creations made available far and wide in the future.

[SkizZ]
What made you think of using puppets at your live shows?

(Dr. Steel)
Well, I’ve found that most rock shows are truly lacking in the puppet show department. To this end I’ve decided to remedy that particular problem. I look forward to expanding such performances to include an ever greater collection of unusual visual stimuli as my resources expand.

[SkizZ]
How many loyal followers do you have?

(Dr. Steel)
Oh goodness, that’s nearly an impossible question to answer. As if I were to provide you with a quote, such numbers would inevitably be inaccurate once this interview is printed as new Toy Soldiers enlist daily. Likewise, the only verified enthusiasts I can pinpoint are those who have taken the time to fill out the Toy Soldier application form. These enthusiastic visionaries are truly appreciated indeed, but they are the exception to the average fan of my work. Especially in a day and age where most people are reluctant to provide their personal details. Looking at my world domination map, I see pinpoints bursting from every corner of the United States and Britain, then expanding rapidly throughout Australia. Recently, the Spanish Division was established with Soldiers in that region translating my manifesto into their native language. It’s brilliant to see such ever increasing support, and with the exponential growth through the sincere passion of The Toy Soldiers I look forward to seeing other corners of the globe gravitate towards the movement as well.

[SkizZ]
What is Wikipedia’s problem with your work? And how do you feel about their refusal to include a page for you, despite your vast array of media?

(Dr. Steel)
I can only assume that Wikipedia is but a small arm of the Alien Illuminati, who continually aim to engineer reality. That I am exposing such truths and encouraging the creative powers of the masses is clearly something they have been fighting to oppress for a very long time. I see this not as a punishment but as an affirmation that I am indeed on the right track. Either that, or they just think I’m silly.

[SkizZ]
The nurses are a nice touch… I don’t really have a question for that one.

(Dr. Steel)
Understood.

[SkizZ]
Your thoughts on 2012?

(Dr. Steel)
An intriguing enigma indeed, and one with a great many theories. As for me, I look forward to the potential alteration of humanity’s paradigm as a whole. May whatever events that take place in the coming years present doorways of possibilities and potential.

[SkizZ]
At what point did you wave bye-bye to your sanity?

(Dr. Steel)
Like many of us I found myself working a nine to five job, living my life in a small office for a bi-weekly paycheck and the satisfaction of knowing that I was “safe”. Though such a position was certainly expected and often desired by the majority of the world, it left me feeling unsatisfied and frustrated with the lack of personal, creative satisfaction.

To this end I one day found myself at a crossroads. I was presented with a choice to continue this way of life or to forge a new one. With a healthy dose of insanity I chose the latter and decided to throw caution to the wind so that I might pave my own way. I have since reinvented myself and spend my every day marching towards the completion of my vision. To live in a state of creativity and self reliance while forever peering beyond the veil of assumed reality is my continued desire.

[SkizZ]
Besides music, making toys, experiments and planning global domination, what hobbies do you have?

(Dr. Steel)
My life is designed to create in any way that I can. To manifest ideas is the only thing I am interested in doing. All that I do is intended to achieve such goals. I look forward to circumventing eat, sleep and defecation as the technology is developed to do so.

[SkizZ]
What message do you want to give to those who may not know of your genius?

(Dr. Steel)
Identify your sincere, creative passions and do all that you can to realize them.

[SkizZ]
What can we look forward to in the future?

(Dr. Steel)
Infinite possibilities, my friend. Infinite possibilities.

.and giant robots.

There you have it!
From the man himself, words of inspiration and realization. Many an artist, and people in general, could learn a thing or three from Dr. Steel. Mainly how to own face!
He covers a variety of topics, ranging from the “Fibonacci Sequence” to Godzilla [“Atomic Superstar”] to Conspiracies [“Conspiracy”] to a “Bikinigram from Satan.”

http://www.toysoldiersunite.com/files/uploads/drsteelmusicsampler.mp3

There is something truly unique about the idea(s) of Dr. Steel, primarily the motif of the mad scientist. One of those ideas so great it produces a “why the FUCK didn’t I think of that?” moment. Guess I’m not that brilliant, I’ll stick with the Wizardry.

If you like what you hear from Dr. Steel and want to swear your undying allegiance, you can hop on over to http://www.toysoldiersunite.com where you can choose which department best suits you.
TSU.com has a lot to offer in the ways of Steelery, so check it out.
If there was ever a mastermind of music to side with, Dr. Phineas Waldolf Steel is that mastermind.

There is also a lot to see at

http://worlddominationtoys.com/drsteel/enter.html

When I say he has created his own world, you’ll see I am far from kidding.

He also has his own Youtube channel, http://www.youtube.com/user/DoctorSteel
where he releases PSAs and episodes of “The Dr. Steel Show”… which are filled to the brim of the beaker that is hilarity.

And, of course, http://www.doctorsteel.com works too!

Steel truly understands what it takes to get noticed in the time we live in. He’s got so many outlets, it’s really a wonder why more people haven’t heard of him. But that will change soon. As time progresses more and more people will recognize Steel’s abilities and charisma, then he will reign supreme. I’m quite confident of this.

One thing attempting to hold him back is the Misinformation Powerhouse known as Wikipedia. He’s all over the internet, he’s even been on JAY LENO (don’t believe me? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qlq68GTjd_Y  chiggity check it! I couldn’t find the whole thing, but he’s there!) and he doesn’t have a Wikipedia page. Not for a lack of trying, attempts have been made. But when those attempts took place they were REJECTED and REMOVED because he didn’t meet “notability standards”. Absurd!!! I can’t tell you how many shitty bands have a page on Wikipedia. I guess the line is drawn when the artist in question makes you THINK. Either that or they think it is one big, elaborate hoax. That’s a long way for someone to go for the sake of a goof! What the hell are you hiding, Wikipedia?

I’d like to thank Dr. Steel for taking time out of his busy day of global domination to answer my questions. I’d also like to thank him for having the integrity to make something truly amazing with music. Instead of selling his soul to make something half-assed and lacking of heart and mind.

So get out there and support this artist who truly deserves it.
Buy his music, show your allegiance by becoming a Toy Soldier and bow down to Dr. Steel, bitch!

What?

Anyway, without giving you the history lesson I could teach, Rush is a Canadian band that got famous with their single “Working Man,” made progressive rock history with By-Tor and the Snow Dog, and then sold a shit ton of albums, and now they’re in the rock and roll hall of fame (psyche).

If there is one Rush album that your favorite Rush fan doesn’t own, it’s Caress of Steel. It was supposed to be their big epic breakthrough with one 12 minute track about Lord o

f the Rings and one 20 minute track about a fountain.

Now I know that sounds good to the nerd in you, but did they really think the masses would catch onto this?

The first three songs are the potential singles. (Bastille Day, I Think I’m Going Bald, Lakeside Park) Bastille Day is in fact a solid song, with catchy punk/metal riffs laced all over its juicy pussy. Tasteless as it sounds, it is entirely true. The following two tracks are absolutely the two worst Rush songs of all time. I Think I’m Going Bald sounds like the lyrics were written by someone who wasn’t going bald, and Lakeside Park is as cheesy as it sounds.

If Caress of Steel is a woman, Bastille Day is a nice vagina, I Think I’m Going Bald is her ugly over sized pimple, Lakeside Park is her Butterface, The Necromancer is her perfect small boob, and The Fountain of Lamneth is her gigantic boob.

What a weird looking bitch.

The Necromancer is a great track that twists and turns through many angles, and overall creates a great sense of you hearing the story from some old traveler.

The Fountain of Lamneth is one of Rush’s best songs, despite many people trashing this entire album. It tells the story of a boy growing up all the way to his finding of the Fountain of Lamneth, and he realizes that the journey is really the important part of his life. It’s not what he has at the end of his life, but what he made with the time he was given. A section of this song is very experimental, and some noise musicians I believe have taken influence from it, considering this was released in 1975.

So go, give this a listen. Become not only a video game nerd, but a music nerd.

This album is, again, an experiment in my rapping and beat making capabilities. I’ve learned a lot from making this album (which a lot of you might be able to tell from how the first half sounds in comparison to the second) and “Location” will be better in ways I can’t even explain. I’m taking a lot of time on it because now that I’ve begun there’s no reason for rookie mistakes.

Until that point, please enjoy “Wizard Island: Transmission.”

Which can be found on THIS site.

FOR FREE!

No reason not to check it out.

I’ll even put the link right here in case you’re feeling lazy!

http://seventytwopinconnector.com/wizard-island-transmission/

-Scott [aka SkizZ teh WizZ]

www.youtube.com/skizztehwizz

Just look how hip and hot these lyrics are.

“Does she love me? Or does she love me not? I think she love me, she say my love is all she got. Does she love me? Or does she love me not? I think she love me I also think she love me not.”

Poetic.

Or these gems.

“I don’t have a job, don’t have a cent. I got laid off and you paid my rent.”

It’s like three retarded people got together with a song made by VH1, then made noises, then someone else put the noises to the song, shit on it, and then re-recorded it. Oh wait, that’s what happened.

Thank you Hila Seltzer for bringing this beautiful photograph to the world.

Honestly, this song is filled with 80% hook. What do I mean by that? Well, they repeat that “Does she love me” at least 6 times, and fill most of the rest of the time with “Ah AAH Ah.”

At about the 2:20 mark, the song changes into “Tell me what you’re gonna do. Everybody hey, everybody hey.” Over, and over, and over, and OH GOD IT’S RAPING MY EARS I CANT TAKE ANYMORE OF THIS! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! FUCK! AHHHHHHWHEEHHHEFHEHWHHHHHH. (Gunshot)

Oh wait. There are more songs. There’s a song called Street Life, which surprisingly ISN’T spelled Lyfe. They talk about being from the streets of New York, LA, and make numerous puns about how “REAL” that Real is. Creative.

Their music is just like this review. No substance. No reason. Just shit. It’s the street life, the hustle and grind, the street life, I gotta get mine. And I’m also going to say Black Stallion nigga twenty times in the same song. With reverb. Look how hip I am.

I’m going to come out and say this now. I hate lyfe. Black Fabio ftw.

If you’re a fan of the Fall of Troy, you’ve probably heard their Ghostship demos, and those demos might be a big reason that you enjoy them so much. Well, that’s right, they FINALLY finished the album. They’ve been working on these songs for five years, polishing and nurturing them. You might think they look like just another band, but this three piece is different. They’ve put together a concept album that would make Rush proud.

Instead of reviewing songs like I want to, I’m going to cover different points of the album.

Vocals- I’ve been reading that some people don’t like the new vocals for these tracks. I don’t know about you, but I like it when people only scream when necessary. Oh? You’re a indiefuck scene asshole that only likes “post-punk” and “scene metal” so you like Underoath and their “screams”? Are they xxxhxcxxx? Do you like it in your butt?
The Fall of Troy is known for screaming a good bit in their songs, but the way they handle it on POTH is different. Thom and Frank sing and throw the occasional screech of death. Franks vocals work well with Thoms. (Frank used to be a lead singer/guitarist for Of Stalwart Fads I think, so he’s had his experience). Thom does better than he has done on any album, but the best vocals on the album are not his. Check out 2:25 on Chapter II. Yea- that’s the singer from Schoolyard Heroes, longtime friends of TFOT. She brings the intensity up to 11 with her operatic voice.

Lyrics/Story- All you need to know is that the lyrics are solid, and the story is crazy. It is about a group sailing when a Ghostship attacks, and at some point a demon enters Thoms head. Shit goes haywire. What is odd is that the lyrics even hold up when they go into a spoken word poetry section read by Thom’s girlfriend. “In the darkness of your mind, I’ll stand by your side and remove all your fear. I’ll eat you alive my dear.” Most spoken parts in songs sound cheesy (check out The Necromancer by Rush, you’ll lol despite it being a good song).

Guitar- Fuck me sideways. I’m really not even going to talk about this. Seriously. Insane. Insane. Insane. This CD has some quiet guitar parts that would make Dragonforce shake in their boots. Listen to this with headphones to get the full effect.

Bass- Frank has improved the quality of bass playing on this album. As simple and generic as that sentence is, it is fully true. And since he’s black, he obviously is good. (YAY RACISM!) But to be honest, Frank actually worked with and changed up some stuff occasionally, BUT they turned him down way too low in the mix. A little bit more volume would help, but still solid.

Drums- Second biggest improvement from vocals. In the four year time from the demos, Andrew has improved his playing immensely. Just check out the drum solo at the end of Part III. His work with Frank is better than it was with Ward’s, sometimes playing a more jazz style than punk with their bass and bass drum working together, which is how it should be in music.

Interludes- Trippy, intense, and fitting. At some point it kinda sounds a little bit like a solo Omar album…

Pros- All of the above
Cons- Franks bass turned down too low, and might be too crazy for you if you’re a wuss or you like shitty music.

No need to actually make this review any longer. Get this fucking album now. They only made 3000 copes to sell though. And if you missed out on the preorder (which sold out), and you cant make it to the west coast for their tour with Number Twelve Looks Like You (jazz fusion metal), then you gotta download this baby. But TFOT supports that, so who cares?

On a side note, go see these guys live. Did you think Rock and Roll was dead? (If you say that it isn’t dead, and that GH and RB revive it, just remember that Miley Cyrus likes Guitar Hero. Those games are ruining rock as we know it with the Jonas Brothers.) Fuck no! Thomas Erak is THE definition of rockstar. You might hear him playing something and think, “how the hell does he do that?” But then you realize he is singing at the same time. Then you see him live, watch him get a concussion on the first song, and then he plays an hour set anyway inside a 125 degree building, all the while jumping into the crowd and flailing around every single song… and he still manages to get many many hot chicks despite smelling and sweating more than anyone in the area. Not to mention, the band is very real, and will even do drugs with you if you bring them…

So, I’m assuming that everyone knows who the Mars Volta are, who At The Drive-In was, and how Sparta sucks. If not, Wiki that shit. I’ll wait and give you this picture to gander at when you get back.

Saying that Omar kicks the shit out of everyone on guitar is an understatement. He is a virtuoso of a different kind. Just listen to “Tied Prom Digs on the Docks” on this album. It is clearly the centerpiece of the album and brings a whole new feel to the rest of the album from a perfect mix of ATDI and Volta to complete jazz fusion. This album really feels ahead of its time, as it was recorded in 2001, released recently, and still manages to jump ahead of what artists are doing now.

While I listen to most albums while playing games, I listened to this album while sitting and paying attention, which is something I try to do for Omar, because if I don’t I never comprehend what is going on. He takes you through twists and turns that will come at you unexpected, and then follows those with insane improvisational guitar parts that put him with the best musicians of our time.

The biggest difference between current Omar and Volta projects and this cd is the life of Jeremy Michael Ward. He was the original sound manipulator/programmer for Volta until he died of a heroin overdose like musicians always fatefully do. His depression is evident in his sounds, and how he always played offstage. His ability to scare the living shit out of you with sound will make you even more frightened to think what was going on through his and Omar’s mind, as they were both on heroin throughout this album.

You must check this album out if you want an exploration in music. If you have distaste for creativity, honesty, instrumentals (considering the lack of vocals) or jazz, then fuck off. If not, you are in for a treat. Good luck finding it though. It took a good long while of intense googling and traveling to record stores to find this.

Honestly, Mastodon is probably the manliest music I have ever heard. Don’t believe me? Just listen to “I am Ahab” off the water album, Leviathan. Sure, it isnt the heaviest music ever invented, but that’s not what makes music manly. It’s the feeling that you really are hanging out with Ahab hunting some goddamned white whale. It is this manliness that is forcing me to do one amazing review of TWO Mastodon albums: Leviathan and Blood Mountain.

Leviathan-

(yes, this is the albums actual art- I know- its badass as hell)

BLOOD AND THUNDER
“I think that someone is trying to kill me
Infecting my blood and destroying my mind
No man of the flesh could ever stop me
The fight for this fish is a fight to the death

White whale – holy grail”

Are you fucking scared yet? I am. Mastodon begins this album with a bang. While other bands (my own included) will sometimes build up sound and slowly begin the album, Mastodon just gets straight to the relentless metal. Each song is at a different tempo than the last, and with bands like Dragonforce on the rise, changing tempos is a welcomed thing.

As the album progresses on, you be noticing how awesome the music of Mastodon is, but something that is overlooked greaty on Leviathan is the drumming. The drummers style is more of a jazz-metal fusion than the shitty rock drumming of metal like Disturbed or the fake metal of Trivium or Atreyu. (Sorry just wanted to band bash for a few moments.) The man on the far left of the Borat picture is the brains behind the percussion, and his intelligence shows. The way the music shifts through time signatures is highlighted by Brann Dailors jazz fills and Neil Peart style snare/hi-hat work. He fully utilizes his kit in every song. He doesn’t quite rank up there with mathjazzcrazyrock drummer Zach Hill (I’ll cover him in a few weeks) or Volta’s Thomas Prigden, but Brann is possibly the best drummer in Metal.

Enough about drums. Metal fans want the guitars- and there is definately no shortage in that area. Instead of playing endless solos, Mastodon chooses to play more difficult rhythm parts in three octaves, or adding on dark, sometimes dissodent second guitar parts. If you’re more keen on solos, then Mastodon probably isn’t for you- BUT- before you don’t listen to them, realize that what could be a solo for a normal metal band is a Mastodonian (I just coined that right there) riff that the bass and guitars are playing while the duel lead vocals are chiming in at the same time.

I dont want to get started on amazing the lyrics are, so I wont. Just listen to this the first time while reading the lyrics (preferrably buy the album, because of amazing album art both on the cover and lyric booklet)

Album highlights are – Iron Tusk, Seabeast, Aqua Dementia, and Hearts Alive (which is in fact a 13 and a half minute epic.) Also, stick around after Hearts Alive for a much softer instrumental tribute to the elephant man.

Album lows- None actually. Fucking amazing. What I like is that what sounds like screaming is sometimes, but other times it is just a REALLY REALLY deep voice. If you’re turned off by “screamo” shit, then I don’t care. Listen to this anyway. It is definately not “screamo,” and it is some of the most well-thought out cared for music around.

Blood Mountain-

Oh yea that’s the album cover. Seriously, this cover should be enough for you to want to buy this.

So, was that last album metal enough for you? No? Oh- well too bad. Cause this one is less metal in the literal sense, but in the metaphorical sense this album is metal as all hell. Still confused?

Just listen to “Capillarian Crest” – parts of it bring forth that crazy punk math rock of The Fall of Troy, but still keeps that same Mastodon sound. Mastodon also brings on Josh Homme of QOTSA for an epic song, Cedic Bixler-Zavala of Volta for one song (how do you think I heard of these guys?), and Isaiah Ikey Owens for another tribute to the elephant man at the end- “Pendulous Skin” – which contains one of the best rock/blues solos in a while. “Bladecatcher” jumps into Melt-Banana (Agata) style noises that could either be inverted squealing OR an effects pedal. Who knows?

The HIGHLIGHT of this album all around, and the largest improvement made by Mastodon on Blood Mountain is the vocals. You might actually find yourself singing one of their songs. Seriously, Scott does it all the time. Instead of rediculously deep vocals and growling, they go for the slightly less deep singing, growling, and beautiful harmonies. Yes. That’s right. Harmonies. Look no further than the bridge on “Colony of Birchmen.” I shall say no more regarding this subject.

As always, the guitars are brutal, the bass is brutal, and the drummer is a tight and crazy as ever. Basically, if you liked the last album, you’ll like this one either just as much or even more depending on your style of music.

Album Highs- The fucking crazy story you have to figure out to belive, Sleeping Giant (along with the video), Circle of Cysquatch (its about a one eyed sasquatch that can see into the future), and Siberian Divide.

Album lows- none unless you’re a bitch.

Beard FTW

Chiggity chiggity chiggity check it…

Scars on Broadway, the side project of System of a Down’s Daron Malakian and John Dolmayan, just hit shelves this past Tuesday. Thus, it’s only right…

If you liked System of a Down, you’ll probably like Scars simply because Daron wrote pretty much everything instrumentally/backup vocally for SOAD.

I’ve been listening to it a good bit since I’ve acquired it and there’s definitely something different about it. Like Daron has been keeping some tricks up his sleeve for an opportunity such as this.

Some electronica (“Chemicals”), disco (“Enemy), metal (“Stoner Hate”), great dynamics (“Babylon”). This album is definitely a keeper. Not sure if I like it as much as Serj Tankian’s Elect the Dead, but there are still plenty of listens left in this baby.

Case in point, if you even remotely enjoy System of a Down check out Scars on Broadway.

If you REALLY like SOAD, to the point of being a “first couple albums” purist, give it a listen. You may just like what you hear. Or you’ll be a little bitch and not let yourself enjoy it because you can’t hear the guitar over your lame intuition. “This isn’t good as SOAD.” …derr.