X-Men Legends was the first in a series of 4-person co-op games focused on using teams of Marvel superheroes (and sometimes villains) and franchise fapping.  The 3rd installment in this series was Marvel Ultimate Alliance and the 4th installment is a game being released just next week: Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2.  Because I have a ridiculous love for these games I’m going to briefly and nostalgically look at the original!

It’s probably most important to first note that X-Men Legends was a game with a weak plot, generic backdrops, and on occasion controller snappingly frustrating difficulty.  The 4-man co-op aspect of the game is a mess as well with portions of the  game only accessible as single player, making your three buddies sit around waiting for their turn to jump back into the game.  Legends sets itself up as the weakest of the three games so far, but luckily the other two were able to hammer out a lot of these problems.

Everyone knows that X-Men Legends is not a game to be played for the story or scenery.  It’s all about playing as your favorite characters from the comics, which Legends does fantastically.  Jubilee, Emma Frost, Magma…and probably some of the less popular mutants like what’s-his-name…the dude with the claws… Anyway, they’re all there.

The best thing Legends does is introduce the 4 character/1 screen co-op even in solo mode (granted Lost Vikings did it with 3 characters way before Legends, but shut up).  This allowed the player to not only control their favorite X-Man but their favorite X-MEn!  Like the phrase goes, “the more the merrier.”  It’s a winning formula that’s some much prettier and more varied button-mashing offspring.  But here at 72pc we don’t look at those qualities.  We respect our roots AND our video game elders.  Just play X-Men Legends once and you’ll agree that it feels pretty damn old.

This game has you picking a team of 3 players from the Capcom and Marvel universes. It has a tag system which is actually a good thing and makes for very competitive matches when you are low on health slamming the two buttons down for a crutial tag in. This game also has more than just Street Fighter characters for the Capcom side, they have Captain Commando (a character made for the Capcom company, the first three letters of Captain and Commando make up Capcom), Jin, Hayato from Star Gladiator, Sonson, and Mega Man with two other characters from that series. I am sure you can guess who the Marvel side is represented by the most, but they also have other random super heroes from different backgrounds which really can fill out the roster very nicely. Speaking of the roster it has a total of 56 people to choose from which is a big list. All the fighters can do their own super combos when your super meter is full but if you want to destroy with full potential you will figure out the way to have a team super combo which will destroy the other trio you are trying to make it past. The thing you need to do is experiment to find the best team with the best combo and I think that I might have found a few of them in my own right which I will talk about later in this review. Each player has their good and bad sides and if you spend enough time playing it you can easily find out how to be technical, speedy, powerful, or a cheap little bitch of a person with your team.

Mind you I am sure when this game gets released in the USA again that the character select screen will not be in Japanese.

I have to review this game for what it is so I can give you a preview of it in case you somehow have not had the pleasure of playing this game yet. This game is pretty…and I cannot say that enough. The art on every single person is nothing short of straight up beautiful. The backgrounds are artistic and they are perfect for this game. If the background had a clock in it, it would actually sync up with the clock in the machine to give you the correct time which is a nice touch. Every single animation is done perfect down to a T, they even include a 2-d version of Jill Valentine and the damn Tyrant that she fights in the Resident Evil series and that looks great as well. They spent alot of time getting all this together after they made the original Marvel vs Capcom, more or less because the fans wanted it and I am glad that these superpowers in the industries they are in decided to give the fans what they want.

Now as far as characters go this game is ridiculous with the amount of different styles that are in this game so I will have to discuss them in a pretty big scope here. There are very few street fighters that were in the series that were not involved in this game such as T-Hawk and Dee Jay, and they were not in this game I would guess to popular demand saying that they do not need both those shit-holes in the game to take up space and be terrible. See a lot of the characters are pretty similar to other characters in the game. Cammy is a fast yet not powerful character, so her speed makes her good against slow characters. At the same time Spiderman has the same type of style, him and Cammy even share a super combo that is pretty much identical, his being the Maximum Spider and hers being the Killer Bee Assault. Then again you have your standard middle of the road fighters such as Ryu and Ken who are just like they are in street fighter 2 except that Ryu’s fireball is fucking gigantic compared to Ken’s and even Akuma’s. There are also big ass slow guys that join the fight and can be awesome and terrible at the same time, for example Juggernaut is the most powerful person in the game but is by far even slower than the Hulk or even Sentinel which is incredible with how slow they are. Look for the sake of this I will discuss a few characters in more details just to tell you who to look out for and who to play as.

Gambit is fast, very fast in fact but obviously his power will be a little less than the average person. He makes up for it though with his super combos and even with his regular special move that freezes the opponent in place if they get hit with his “Kinetic Cards”. If you can stand to use a speedy person then he is one of the people you need to look for. Speaking of X-men there are two versions of Wolverine in this game, one being bone claw, and they other having his standard Adamantium  claws. Both characters are fast, and can do quite a bit a damage although Bone-claw Wolverine is slightly faster and not as powerful, while both of them can take a lot of damage….too bad he can not regenerate his health as fast as he does in the comics though. To finish off the speedy characters that I enjoy I have to say that Cammy is badass. In this game you can dash and it is not very hard to take advantage of this with her because she might be the fastest person in the entire game, if you are against a person that cannot avoid a rush all you have to do is go and dash towards them then Cannon Spike, dash back and repeat….if you want to be a cheap bitch about it all. I am a street fighter fan-boy, and I love Ryu and Akuma…but in this game based off a overall basis I have to give the advantage to Ryu. Akuma is powerful yes but they did dumb him down for this game so people could not just destroy constantly with him like they have in other games. Once again I must say that the fact that Ryu’s fireball takes up 3/4th’s of a character model when thrown gives you a great weapon to keep people at bay with. On the same level as him I think is Captain Commando, who actually is slightly faster than Ryu, and is probably  a little more powerful but to do combos with him is slightly harder than one would initially think. Up next is Jill Valentine from the Resident Evil series. She is quick and actually can rack up some damage if you know how to use her. She uses dogs and zombies from the RE series to actually perform special moves, one of her super combos actually has her call up the tyrant to destroy your ass with three gigantic slices from his big claw. In my opinion her best move is how she has a counter attack where she pulls out her Beretta and as long as you keep hitting the strong punch button she will fire up to nine shots right into the person who tried to hurt you. Venom is a badass in this game and yes he is slower but his attacks are actually quite quick for a man of his size. His specials can do a lot of damage but you really have to get used to his style to use him effectively, Iron Man (and also War Machine) in this game is the same way so if you choose to use them be careful. Out of the slowest characters I can only stand Sentinel and Juggernaut. Juggernaut I will use almost never, but Sentinel is a very good character. When you are up against someone who must dash in and attack, or someone who cannot fight from a distance then you can be the worlds biggest bitch with Sentinel. He shoots out a laser from his mouth which can go the full length of the screen but nevertheless.

Jill summons the tyrant to completely obliterate SonSon and her little friends.

Personally I cannot stand any of the Darkstalkers characters in this game because they are not the people I used when I used to play the game in the arcade. Where in the Hell is my Jon Taliban, he is a werewolf and he is not in this game. I also hate a lot of the other characters in this game that are part of the Marvel side. There are so many generic characters that are useless unless your going to exploit the game which is what a lot of these people that play the game do. Mega Man is in this game and he is such a little bitch…I am sorry to say it I never was a fan of Mega Man but even I realize that Capcom has finally spent all their time making sure that he is between the ages of roughly 8-10 and that he is the biggest pussy in the fighting universe. B.B. Hood has more balls then Mega Man ever could. I will say this about my favorite fighting game of all time, there is something that I can easily gripe about.  Damn near every character has a infinite combo, which would not be so bad had they not been so easy to pull off. A little while back while I was at an arcade with a group of friends, I found a MVC2 machine and decided to play it. While kicking a huge amount of ass I had a random guy come up and ask to join me, and low and behold all he did was exploit the shit out of this game and yea he beat me but I actually held my own until about 10 seconds left in the entire match so to me that is a victory in itself. If you are going to play anyone in the arcade beware that your ass will get exploited more than likely, or even if you play this against a decent player on X-box Live you will have this happen as well.

The final boss in this game is hard, and if it’s your first time going up against the bastard named Abyss…you will lose unless you pull off a huge amount of bullshit. He has three forms and each form is crazier than the last. His first form has him dressed like a huge metal samurai, which throws lightning bolts and tridents at you, while he can also fire a huge laser from his chest. Fast characters are really good against him if you can just figure out exactly when to block and when to counter an attack with a super jump to just go over him completely. If you get past him you will face a green goo like substance that looks like it’s made of Slimer from Ghostbusters. This form will actually shoot lasers, and taunt you the whole time…attacking him with a close ranger character is not a good idea at all because of the damage he can cause so you really need someone from long range like Ryu or Gambit. The third form is a huge dog like demon from Hell. This thing is the length of 75% of the screen and the entire height of it if he is on screen at all. He constantly teleports and has the ability to keep shooting things from across the screen so your best bet is to constantly back up so you can block if he attacks and then just keep going for him. You must be careful though because if he hits you with a super combo he can kill all three of your players so fast that you will not even be able to react to what you just witnessed on the screen. I have not lost to the boss since the first time I went up against him actually. Once you figure out his pattern of all three forms he is not difficult but that first time you face him will be a monstrous  task to say the least.If you have a team with a good super combo it makes it a lot easier as well…any team with Gambit has an advantage because he can freeze the first two forms with his super combo. Honestly I still think the best super combo team I have found is Gambit with his cards, Ryu with a gigantic fireball, and to finish it up Iron Man with his cannon shooting a crazy amount of ammo at the sad sap in his way.

Example of the “Iron Man” Tony Stark owning face with his cannon.

Overall this game is almost perfect. I cannot think of a better fighter that I have played in my life. Even Street Fighter IV is not as good as this game in my opinion. You need to get ahold of this game on the marketplace, they have redone the sprites and made everything even prettier, you need to get it off the marketplace anyway because unless you own a Dreamcast and the actual game from 2000 when it was ported you kinda got fucked because all the other ports were apparently nothing short of terrible. I have no idea how much this game will be when it finally comes out but regardless what it costs I will purchase it. I have said before and will say it again Capcom could make me pay 50 dollars willingly to get this game all over again and relive the fun that I have had while playing it. If you play this game and you honestly do not like it, I will actually understand but will ultimately be confused at how you can not stand a game like this. It has a lot of ups and a few downs but all together this game does nothing but jut amaze me constantly every time I play it on my Dreamcast or in the arcade which is why I cannot wait to pick this up on the marketplace. Thank you Capcom and Marvel for listening to what the fans have been craving this whole time…although I hope in the future sometime that they will make a sequel to this game and revamp the series again.

I may be a fanboy but this asshole is just ridiculous.

Before I get to the game, I’d like to show you the alternate cover.

Shitch’yeah!

One of many personal favorites of mine, The Suffering puts you in the shoes of Torque, A man sent to Abbott State Penitentiary on the infamous Carnate Island in Maryland. He was sent there for the murder of his ex-wife (Carmen) and two kids (Corey & Malcom). But at the beginning of the game, it is unknown whether or not he was, in fact, the one who commited these crimes because of blackouts he has endured all his life. That’s where you come in, fellow gamer. This is one of the less credited, though well received, games that was on the front line of the “good/evil” choice in path (games like “Star Wars: KOTOR,” “Fable,” “Darkwatch,” etc.). All it REALLY affects is the ending, but that doesn’t make it any less badass.

The Suffering starts with Torque on a boat with some cops heading toward Abbott. The first few moments of gameplay are spent in a cage by the dock with some of Abbott’s newcomers… assuming they live through your carnage… which they won’t! They talk about what you were sent there for and attack you.

At this point there isn’t really a way to fight back, so you’ll run around like a chicken with its dick cut off. Then you’ll turn into the monster side of Torque! Oh yes, you have the ability to turn into a monster in this game (known as “Insanity Mode”). Before you go and use it every second you can, it affects what ending you get.

The enemies you will meet represent different forms of execution, whose origin you will learn of by finding the journal entries Clem (who you’ll meet much later in the game) left around the island.

Slayer

The first breed of monster you encounter. Not a whole lot of trouble unless they come in numbers. Then you don’t want to underestimate the damage these fuckers can do. Simply a matter of learning their patterns.

There’s another type of Slayer later in the game, which is taller and more aggressive. These are the products of Dr. Killjoy’s psychotic experiments (I’ll explain who he is soon).

The Mainliner

I always call these bastards “Junkies.” Executed by means of lethal injection, they hop around chucking needles at you. Keep an eye out for these pieces of shit. They can pounce on you and try to stab you with a syringe. Even worse than that is when you’re in a crazy situation and in need of Insanity Mode. Why is that? Because the syringes they throw can TAKE YOU OUT OF INSANITY MODE. Which can really fuck up any plans you may have of getting out of a situation.

Marksman

Another enemy which isn’t too much trouble when they’re alone. But as the game progresses they rarely show up without a few of their buddies. These unlucky saps fit the firing squad theme. They have six or so rifles attached to their backs. When he kneels move your ass, he’s about to fire in an attempt to tear your shit up.

Burrower

Representing those who were buried alive in the grounds of Carnate. They move through the ground and pop up when you’re in proximity. Either to take a slash you, trip you, or spin to make a buzzsaw effect. Shotgun is the most effective, keeps them from moving.

Nooseman

These fuckers hang from a noose and lower from GIANT BLOOD STAINS ON THE CEILING… That’s right, they found a way to pull that shit off. Keep an eye on the ceilings for these spots, they’re strategically placed and the second you forget about them you find yourself in a strangle sandwich. I don’t think I need to tell you they’re well hung.

Fester

These fat fucks are the ghosts of slave traders, whose slave ship crashed into the shore of Carnate. Constantly emerging from the ship, they are souls tortured for the savage treatment of slaves which they left on the ship to be eaten by rats! Because of this, their stomachs are filled with exploding rats (oh yeah, watch out for those little shits). Your best bet would be tossing TNT, grenades or Molitov cocktails (which come in bottles of JACK DANIEL’S, that’s my boy!) because bullets bounce off of their grotty physique. If you want my advice, which you do, if you’ve got explosives to spare, chuck them at the Fester(s) when it falls to the ground to take out the legion of rats coming your way (Molitov works best in this situation).

Inferna

These little bitches are… well… a bitch. Little girls from the 1600s who accused 11 innocent people of witchcraft (11 people who were burnt at the stake as a result) haunt the island for their crimes. They can burst into flames and encircle you in fire. They tend to come in threes, so watch out for their trickery. When you shoot them enough, they turn into a pile of ash. Destroy that pile or they will regenerate. You’ve been warned.

The main characters make the story all the more insane. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find ANY pictures for these characters. So you’ll just have to play yourself and witness the awesomery.

Dr. Killjoy

This psycho-scientist worked in the Abbott infirmary for the criminally insane. His need to diagnose and treat takes shape in various demonstrations. I really like this character because he made himself immortal by means of using film projectors to make himself appear in a holographic fashion. He can also lock doors with the same technology, which are unlocked by destroying projectors. He is a crazy mother fucker and is fascinated with Torque’s condition.

Horace

His spirit haunts the hallways of Abbott, he got the electric chair and now is able to harness electricity. The island drove him crazy and made him so paranoid he killed his wife during a conjugal visit because he was afraid of “what would happen to her” if he didn’t (makes sense, amirite?). Horace is forced by the power of the island to constantly relive his own execution. He is the voice of caution pertaining to Abbott’s effect on the mind and soul of its inhabitants.

Hermes

Appearing in the form of green gas from the chamber, Abbott’s former executioner felt so close to the process he had to become a part of it. By willingly sitting in the gas chamber to “get a taste.” His boss battle is an interesting one, I’ll leave it at that. Just imagine how you would fight gas. Whereas Horace tries to lead you to the path of good, Hermes encourages Torque to give into his evil urges.

*SPOILER*
There are three possible endings to The Suffering .
Ending 1 = Doing good deeds with little use of Insanity Mode
Ending 2 = Evil deeds (taking somebody’s life)
Ending 3 = Major use of Insanity Mode

All the endings depend on what the spirits of Torques family think of him, based on his/your actions. After defeating Torque’s inner demon, himself, and a clusterfuck of all three, you’ll be rescued by a boat. Ending 1, Torque is rescued and recieves a re-trial. Ending 2, Torque knocks out the driver of the boat and escapes. Ending 3, Torque runs back into the woods of Carnate Island. The coolest thing about the ending, to me, is the photo of Torque’s family. You have it for the entirety of the game, but what is written on it and its overall appearance by the game’s end depends, again, on the decisions you make. If you do good, it’s clean with a supportive and loving message from the Carmen. If you do evil, it will be covered and blood and basically say the only way they can be happy is without Torque.
*END SPOILER*

Whenever you’re given a choice to do good or evil, you’ll hear the voices of Carmen and Torque’s inner demon. Carmen encourages you to help out, the demon usually says something along the lines of “fuck that shit, bitch. KEEEELL DAT MUDDA PHUCKA!” It is then up to you to choose. First time I played I went the good route which, like other games of this nature, is usually a little more difficult because protecting someone is usually involved.  And when that shit happens, it is more taxing to my patience because of the dumbshit mistakes the A.I. love to make. If you decide to kill the person, you have to deal with hordes of monsters all by your lonesome. Your call.

You can switch the camera from third person to first person. So you can turn it into an FPS whenever you feel like it. Which comes in handy when walking down some narrow hallways.

Also, in case you haven’t noticed, there is a delightfully irresponsible amount of blood in this game. After a battle, you’re usually covered in blood. See the following diagram, by which I mean screenshot.

Midway really showed me they can still make a game that teeters on the line of insanity (too bad they’re not doing too well). With random pictures of violence and sadistic people/monsters (sometimes being one and the same. WHOA! Think about that shit, MAAAAN! That shit’s deep… like your sister’s cooter!) popping up at random points in time, this game will put you on edge if you’re not familiar with the walls of Abbott and the scenery of Carnate Island. There are so many events that took place in Abbott’s past I couldn’t possibly cover them all without making this review longer than it already is. Just know that The Suffering and its sequel, The Suffering: Ties That Bind, have a lot to offer. Good plot, crazy enemies, a challenge, there’s even an unlockable mini-documentary on a supposedly haunted prison in Pennsylvania!

That’s not all, children! Apparently a movie is being made! Which is due to release sometime this year. Keep your toes crossed! Let’s see if it actually happens, or if it is actually worth taking time out of your life to see. Either way, there are still two really good games that will cover more plot than a room full of suits could ever care to.

Get ready to get bloody!

Oh yeah, and FUCK THE PO-LICE!

BLAH!

I’m out.