I’m sitting here watching my girlfriend play Wii Fit, so I figured I might as well write a little blurb on it. These are pretty much random observations and in no way an in-depth look at the game.
There’s a challenge in which you have to a follow a Mii that runs ahead of you… then a dog. You would think you wouldn’t have to ACTUALLY run, but it helps to run considering the momentum required. Besides, you’re defeating the purpose of the game if you’re trying to take a shortcut.
Next up, the Hula Hoop challenge. I like this one because I get to watch her swivel her pelvis… Thus, giving me more reason to watch her ass. Having seen the Wii Fit Girl on Tosh.0 recently, a grin is brought to my face having a Wii Fit Girl of my own who is much hotter. So far, I’m a fan of this game when I’m not the one playing.
Her next choice: YOGA! I don’t think I need to go into detail as to why I think I’ll enjoy spectating on this. The first couple of moves are pretty basic Yoga tactics. I have no way of knowing because I’m horribly out of shape and probably wouldn’t resort to Yoga if I was.
Now I’m being informed she’s changing into pants because she “doesn’t want to flash us” her ass. I attempted to vocalize my disagreement with this idea, to which she replied “I don’t care.” That was fun while it lasted.
She comes back up with pants and a baggy t-shirt. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PROPERLY OGGLE THAT? I’ll make it work, the pants are tight enough and my imagination is strong.
Now she knows that I’m writing this, which may have a promise of comedy. Maybe I should focus more on the game… Nah, I’m good being a perv. Especially now that she has her ass up in the air with those tight pants.
K: “Are you checking out my ass?”
RS: “Ye-… no. But keep doing that.”
Back to the Mii Race. The environmental graphics are nothing special, but I don’t think that’s what they were concentrating on.
Now she’s giving some Advanced Step a chance… It’s not going well. Still entertaining to watch, however. I doubt I would do any better on this thing. You have to step on the board with the foot it dictates, and step off with the foot it dictates. All of this is to music, obviously, which gets faster as you progress. You eventually have to incorporate claps, which she has given up on completely.
K: “I just want to play DDR!”
As she almost falls off, she seems to be getting the hang of it right before the challenge ends. It’s safe to say I would be horrible at this game. The fact that she plays it often is a testament to her tenacity.
Now… we Kung Fu! This requires the Nunchuk. As she stands on the board, the Mii characters behind her demonstrate the move(s) you have to pull off in rhythm to the music. This one actually looks kind of fun, meaning I might be able to do it without breaking myself. If you fuck up, some sort of pot is dropped on your Mii’s head.
After completing challenges, a counter pops up to show you a rough estimation of how many calories you are burning. This is an interesting system because of the obvious reasons of importance.
If you want a little bit of extra fun while watching somebody play, make them laugh during a challenge. Just keep that mental note in your thought box.
“High score! I beat myself! THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!” Do I really need to go into why this girl is great?
Back to Yoga! This time, the Dance position. The instructor bitch doesn’t move her mouth when she talks. I suppose that might have broken the bank for Nintendo. She’s the whitest chick ever… seriously, she has paper white skin. That, and I think she has a bit of camel toe going on… Not that I was looking…
While holding a position, you’re required to keep the red dot within the yellow circle. Easier said than done. Not only is it difficult from a physical standpoint, but you’ve also got the instructor criticizing you. She tries to make it sound constructive, but I know she’s being a bitch. It’s not hard to tell, even if she is a robot.
The board is better at calculating movement than I expected, almost to an absurd degree. After challenges, you’re reviewed on your movement within the circle overall. Which, if done poorly, will look like a Pollack painting.
There are a lot of things to be said concerning Wii Fit. I would recommend watching a highly attractive female play if one is available. Hell, give it a try if you’re looking to get off of your ass.Chances are if you’re reading this, you’re not a huge fan of that. But, hey, who am I to judge? I’m not too sure I’d use it if somebody gave it to me.
Your girlfriend sounds like a fatass. Glub.
[...] This month, Senior Skizz was playing Zuma and Turtles in Time Re-Shelled, going crazy with Arkham Asylum, and watching his girlfriend play Wii Fit. [...]