Awhile ago I reviewed Parsol Stars, game three of the Bubble Bobble series.
In it, you play as Bubby and/or Bobby. These two flamboyant umbrella-wielding chunk-a-lunks travel to these planets that say “SOS” in a fashion that would make you think they’re going to save the plane. But upon further inspection of this TG16 classic, I’ve realized I this could very well be a political cartoon in 8-bit motion (Don’t let them fool you, TG16 is 8-bit, not 16) because there is no way they have the well being of the inhabitants of those planets in mind.
Most of the characters you come across look pretty harmless. If not harmless, non-threatening creatures who only seem guilty of fitting into their surroundings. Who is sending out the SOS on all these planets if there are only enemies around? Maybe THEY needed help, but you’re forced to destroy them with bubbles and such so you can stuff your face with foods (ranging from fruits, vegetables, drinks, sweets, etc.), collect crowns and money (I assume to take throne as the King of whatever planet you’re raping) and performing “Miracles” by picking up cards with elements on them.
If you get all three Stars together in a miracle, you get to play a bonus level/boss. Read into that what you will.
That’s another thing, there are some crazy Christian undertones. Did I say undertones? I meant hilarious blatant messages in the form of floods. And what happens if you don’t eat junk food, steal treasure, harness the elements to stun and murder animals and robots with bubbles before time runs out? Death comes after you! But if you do all that within the allotted time, you’re money. Apparently Death has some sort of protection service he provides. Death is in the mob.
Not only do you attack animals, you attack musical notes and instruments. Can’t forget about the casino planet where you have to incapacitate POKER CHIPS. Because on Planet Vegas, the only difference between a poker chip and a poker chip that can kill you is a set of eyes. Slot Machines, pianos, tree trunks and other creature creating vessels release hordes of “enemies.” Clearly, they’re going after a lot of topics.
Only until the later levels do you really appear to be in any danger that would involve destroying everything living in the areas you land in. Then you have to fuck with giant robots and tanks because you’ve pissed everybody off by planet hopping and pillaging. There is one slight detail that calls for the destruction of your enemies, they kill you when they touch you. I find myself in a “chicken & the egg” thought pattern when trying to figure out if they attack you like a bunch of loons or if they’re preemptively striking because they know you’re going to attack? What if Bubby and Bobby are gangsters who travel the planets and hold everybody up for their loot! Myeh, see?!
All I’m saying is there’s something sketchy going on with those boys. If you see either of these men, contact authorities or a doctor… because you might have a tumor if you’re seeing those guys… since they’z isn’t real.
