WELCOME ALL! TO THE FOURTH OF JULY SPECIAL OF 72PC!
For this special occasion, I’ve decided to jot down a quick review of “Gunstar Heroes“. Because the characters names are “Red” and “Blue” and their suits are white… So that’s good enough for me!
Gunstar Heroes is a haul-ass and blast game that sticks with you throughout the years. After talking about it on last week’s podcast I couldn’t get it out of my mind and I had some Wii points to spare. Thus, Gunstar Heroes was brought back to me!
I can’t tell you how good of a decision that was.
The following plot synopsis has been copy/pasted from Wikipedia because I’ve never really fully understood what the plot was supposed to be. I was always too busy blasting robots with fire and grabbing health orbs and punching Curry and Rice… you’ll understand that later if you decide to give GH a try.
“American Story: The Gunstar family has been the protector of the planet Gunstar 9 (G-9) for generations. In his youth, Dr. Brown defeated Golden Silver, a destructive android that traveled millions of miles to suck G-9 dry of all its resources. Dr. Brown was able to extract the four famous Mystical Gems, the robot’s power source, and imprisoned it on one of G-9′s moons.
Years later, a new menace rises. Smash Daisaku, a vicious dictator found out that the Gunstars knew the location of the Mystical Gems. One day, Smash Daisaku kidnapped the Gunstar twins’ older brother Green and used a mind control machine to make Green obey his orders.
With Green’s help, Smash Daisaku amassed all four Mystical Gems, has turned Gunstar 9′s peaceful worker droids into deadly menaces, and is now preparing to leave for Gunstar 9′s moon to reactivate Golden Silver.”
(above): Smash Daisaku
Not too bad of a plot, eh? Kinda basic but it doesn’t matter amongst the kerfuffle. What does matter is keeping on your toes and avoiding the wasp’s nest of things that can hurt you… an actual wasp’s nest is among that group.
First, you pick whether you want your character to be able to move freely when he shoots (Red) or if you want him to stand and post where he shoots (Blue). Then you pick your weapon (from left to right: Force, Lightning, Chaser, Fire) and you’re almost ready to go…
The game is broken up between four levels initially, which you can play at your leisure.
The first level takes place in The Ancient Ruins, which looks like a fuckin’ jungle with a few trees the first half of the level. After reaching the top of a temple, you fight a mini boss (which there are many of in this game). You then surf down the temple, while destroying falling drones. You then encounter Boss number one: Pink.
Pink is the bitch inside this vessel. Not the goofy nerd in the window or the date rapist on the claw shooting lasers. Rather, she appears for a little bit to drop bombs every once in awhile. Leaving these two beatniks to do all the work while she is no doubt bitching about them leaving the toilet seat up or complaining because of cramps.
After this cakewalk of a battle (I’m not even sure if it would be fair to Webster’s Dic to call it a battle. More of a scuffle I would think), they explode and the first gem is dropped. Congrats.
Level Two is in The Underground Mine. This is a truly FUN level. You can fuck with gravity by hopping onto the ceiling with these mining carts you magically obtain, probably from Dr. Brown (yet another Back to the Future ripoff, but I’ll let it slide… this time).
Now this boss is a fucking HANDFUL! It’s truly an accomplishment to defeat: Green
It wouldn’t be so bad if this fucker didn’t have SO MANY FORMS. He seriously has *SEVEN FORMS. So you have to take out all five forms that have the vitality of a full boss battle… but *SEVEN of them. The forms are the following:
- Solider Force (seen above)
- Tails Force
- Tiger Force
- Blaster Force
- Urchin Force
- Crab Force
- *Phoenix Force
Have fun with that!
Luckily, after that it’s pretty easy… as far as the first four levels go.
I won’t go into a whole lot because I don’t want to ruin the many surprises this game has to offer. Instead, I’ll talk about my favorite level of the game (which I understand is a lot of people’s favorite as well).
Well this blows… I can’t find a pic for it.
No matter, it’s a fairly easy concept to understand. IT’S A BOARD GAME! Some spots land you smack dab in the middle of a boss battle. These bosses aren’t too much to handle, but can be if you keep hitting boss spots. There are also item spots, one battle without a gun (thus, the Curry and Rice thing), and the spot before the boss called “All the Way Back”. Which does just what you think it does.
So there you have it, Gunstar Heroes is an unsung classic that too many people haven’t had the pleasure to immerse themselves in. My brother and a friend from my childhood spent countless hours playing this damn game and it rarely gets old. The only time it does is when you get your ass kicked at some point for the 8th time and you just scream “FUCK IT” and walk away from the cartridge so you don’t break it… because you would no doubt want to play it again later.
The point is, if you haven’t played it you’ve been robbed. Check it out and thank me later.
HAPPY 4TH, GET FUCKED UP!
[Scott]
* = Correction
Green’s boss name is seven force, so named because he has seven forms. I believe the one you missed is called Phoenix Force.
My god, do I love this game.
Whoops!
Correction has been made.
Thank you for your contribution.
podcast directory…
I absolutely agree…